life is short, really....

i was at a shoot when the call came. it was jace. i didn't pick up the call, was in middle of recording. not long later came her sms, 'call me back pls'. i didn't think too much about it, thinking she wanted to ask me sumthin or asking for a favour. after a while she called again. i had to pick it up. she asked if i could talk. i said no and promised to call her back. when i was finally free i called her and asked what the matter was. she said sumthin bad happened. leong had an accident and he passed away.

what?

"leong was involved in an accident when he was driving the props van this morning. we were going back to 1-u after shooting in ulu kelang. his van was last and there was an intern with him. both passed away after colliding with a lorry. the prayer is tonight, can you come?"
it took me a while to register what she had just said. leong passed away. leong the editor. really? i wanted to ask her again but her trembling voice assured me that it was for real. so i just said yes, i will go for the prayer and hung up. still trying to digest what went into my ears.

what?

then i fully saw who leong was. he is the chubby specky guy who is very soft-spoken, too soft at times, cause he is incredibly humble. i know him first as an in-house editor at skywalker. when we became friends he started showing interests in filmmaking as well. i guess in a way i managed to encourage him to enter the astro chinese short film competition that year, which i acted in as well. he won 2nd place for it and i won the best male actor. ha. we both thanked each other just like we should.

i admit i don't really know him that well. but in this day and age, it's not hard to identify a really good fellow. kind-hearted, warm, pleasant, humble and respectful. most first reactions were how life is unfair to take away such a nice person and all. but perhaps god loved him so much he didn't want him to stay in this lousy world for too long? i'd like to think of that, really.

at the prayer ceremony were his family, friends and colleagues. most of the people who had worked on fearfactor were there as well. stories of how it all happened exchanged tongues. apparently no one knows exactly how it happened, as he was the last vehicle in the convoy and was somehow left behind from the rest. then i went inside to pay my respects. there she was, sitting with his family members folding paper offerings. yinyin, leong's girlfriend. she looked pale. defeated. i really don't know what to say to her. what could i possibly say? i dreaded the moment when i actually had to speak to her that night. it didn't happened. i just gave her a nod and she returned hers. poor thing, that was all i could feel for her.

the next day yinyin called me. i was taken by surprise and actually hesitated to pick up the call. i tried hard to standby what to say. she sounded calm. very calm. i was even more surprised. she asked if i could come for the funeral ceremony in nilai. it would be like sending leong off for the last time. apparently his parents were not allowed to attend the ceremony cause elders are not supposed to 'send' their juniors off. well, it makes sense. so friends are especially encouraged to take this last journey.

we convoyed our way to nilai memorial park. his younger brother took up the responsibility of carrying out the rituals as his sisters looked on, sobbing. after a few hours it ended. we were told to head back to the city, to our lives. i drove aimlessly, trying to back track my way to kl. i felt really lost, not only in searching for my way home, but in the whole episode. what exactly happened?

till today, i still seem to find it hard to digest the few days that happened. how could anyone just leave like dat?